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About the Author Diane Tillman is an educational psychologist who worked in a California public school system for twenty-three years. She lectures internationally on personal development and training educators. Tillman has served with the United Nations Association-USA at the local, regional and national levels. Read more Excerpt. ? Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Happiness Reflection Points Give happiness and take happiness. When there is love and peace inside, happiness automatically grows. When there is a feeling of hope and purpose, there is happiness. Having good wishes for everyone gives happiness inside. Happiness cannot be bought, sold or bargained for. Happiness is earned through pure and selfless attitudes and actions. Happiness of mind is a state of peace in which there is no upheaval or violence. Kind and constructive words create a happier world. When one is content with oneself, happiness comes automatically. Happiness follows giving happiness, sorrow follows giving sorrow. Lasting happiness is a state of contentment within. When all resources are focused on socioeconomic infrastructure at the expense of the development of the character, then priorities in life are misrepresented and there is a gradual erosion of happiness. Values help people assess priorities and allow for active and preventive measures to take place at opportune moments. Happiness Unit Happiness Lessons Occasionally include a Relaxation/Focusing exercise during values time. Songs create a special atmosphere where people can experience a value. The values planning team may wish to choose one subject area daily to play a song. You may want the students to bring in songs that relate to the theme of happiness. Some students enjoy learning traditional songs. Core Happiness Lesson 3 Talking to Myself Write the Reflection Point on the board: When there is love and peace inside, happiness automatically grows. Build Concept: Talking to Myself is an acknowledgment of the process that occurs within every individual. We all talk to ourselves with a silent voice. This is called self-talk or inner dialogue. In this unit on Happiness, this is an important aspect to think about, as self-talk can be positive or negative, encouraging or discouraging. Discuss/Share 'In the last lesson, we talked about happiness and others, today, let's talk about the things we say to ourselves.' Ask: What kinds of things can we say to ourselves to create happiness inside? What did you say to yourself when you did your homework of giving happiness through words to others? What happens to your emotional energy when you speak kindly to yourself? What happens when you give yourself a hard time, when you are very critical with yourself? What happens to your feelings when you say, 'I'll never be able to do it,' or 'I'll never make it'? Are the feelings different when you say, 'This is a bit scary, but I'll do my best'? What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? Say: 'Notice your tone of voice when you speak to yourself. What do you say to yourself when you're afraid that you'll fail at something? What is the emotional effect when you call yourself 'Stupid'? It's wonderful when people feel bad when they make a mistake, because it simply means they want to do it right. But we have a lot more energy to do the right thing when we say to ourselves: 'Okay, I made a mistake. I'm human. I can learn from mistakes. What can I do next time so I do not repeat the mistake'?' Discuss. Then draw three columns on the board, putting the following headers at the top of the columns: Situation, Discouraging and Encouraging/Empowering. Ask them to make three similar columns on a piece of paper. Fill out the columns with the content from the questions below.Situation- Discouraging-Encouraging/Empowering Ask:Does anyone ever have difficulty starting on an assignment? (Write 'assignment needs to be done' under the column titled 'Situation.') What are examples of thoughts students say to themselves that are discouraging in this situation? (Write two of the replies under the column titled 'Discouraging.') What can you say to encourage yourself when it is difficult to get started on an assignment? (Write a few of the replies under the column titled 'Encouraging/Empowering.') Let's do a disappointing situation. Please give me an example. What are discouraging things people say to themselves? (Continue to fill in the columns as described.) What can you say to yourself that is encouraging in this situation? What differences do you notice in the tone of voice that you use to yourself when you say things that are critical or discouraging versus encouraging? Activity Instruct the class to divide in half or in small groups. Ask the students to continue to generate situations that are challenging, and fill in the remaining columns with discouraging and encouraging or empowering thoughts. ?2001. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Living Values Activitiets for Young Adults by Diane Tillman. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications,3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442. Read more